The first trimester of pregnancy is always hard for me. This one is no exception. And sometimes, despite the blessing that I feel this pregnancy is, it’s hard to remember that all the time. The hourly battle to eat, sleep and accomplish the things I HAVE to do, is sometimes too much.
I feel sad that I can’t do the things I used to, that I lay in bed most of the day. That my kids don’t even ask me to make lunch anymore…they just find something to eat and make it themselves. I feel guilty that my house is always a mess. I don’t make my family dinner, and we waste a lot of money eating out. I feel bad that friends can’t rely on me anymore to help them out.
This post sounds quite depressing. I just want to remember in a very real way my feelings at this point. I’m not in a happy place right now despite that this baby is desperately wanted and prayed for.
I know this season will pass. I look forward to that day. Sometimes looking at pictures or watching home movies of the other 3 boys when they were babies cheers up my spirit and reminds me that it will all be worth it in the end.
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